笑话列表
是你配呀还是我配呀 一朋友开车，不慎压死了路边的一只羊。朋友只好停车，下来给主人赔礼道歉，问对方：这羊多少钱一只，我如数赔偿！放羊人闷了半天，终于憋出一句话：赔，你赔得起吗？你压死了我的一只种羊，看见没？山坡上那些母羊等着配呢，是你配呀还是我配呀？ 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 好机智的回答 四岁儿子想要橡皮泥，我说要看你的表现了，表现好就给买。他说，妈妈等我长大了给你买车，不用看你的表现。表现不好也给你买。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 你女儿在我手上 爸爸酒喝多了，非要拿我手机打电话给我妈。打通说：你女儿在我手上。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 有个吃货女朋友真好 女朋友跟我分手了。万念俱灰的我，关紧门窗烧了一盆火炭，烤了三十串羊肉三十串脆骨十串羊腰五串韭菜五串辣椒五串香辣馒头片儿，拍照发在微博上，不一会儿女朋友就敲门来找我复合了。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 超过200都不好看 婚前进服装店。女：亲爱的，这件好看吗？男：嗯，挺好看的啊，你再试试那件，还有那件也不错！……婚后进服装店。女：亲爱的，这件好看吗？男：超过200了都不好看。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 是不是长了一嘴猪牙 同事家有小萝莉属虎的，长了两颗虎牙，笑起很好看！有天萝莉回去跟她妈妈说:“妈妈，我属虎就长虎牙，你属狗是不是长狗牙呢！”同事又气又好笑就对小萝莉说:“你爸爸还属猪呢！你去问问看他是不是长了一嘴猪牙！” 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 微积分考试 今天考完微积分手都冻僵了，去澡堂洗澡，一进澡堂就看见一人高马大的哥们在tuo衣服，肚皮上手臂上全是纹身。我没敢多看，就钻到隔间洗澡去了。一分钟后，那哥们儿顺手过来借洗发水，我顺势一看，我瞬间就凌乱了，这哪是全是纹身，全是微积分公式！你说这大冬天的，真不知道他是怎么抄上的。... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] the important of a second language A cat and her four kittens ran into a large dog. When the kittens cowered, the cat let out a series of loud barks, scaring the dog away.Turning to her kittens, the cat said, "You see how important it&nb... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 几月走的 When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "Whe... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 睡前祷告词 Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy. Make Naples the capital of Italy."Her mother interrupted and said, "Julie, why do you want God to make Na... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 怕老婆的丈夫 The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives．He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did&n... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 马克·吐温 On one occasion when Mark Twain arrived in London from New York，the Star thought the fact worth recording onits evening placard．But there was another piece of news to bementioned：it was about the Ascot Cup being stolen... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 当矿泉水爱上方便面 矿泉水爱上了方便面，鼓起勇气向她表白，却被无情的拒绝了。矿泉水问：“为什么？”方便面不屑地说：“切，就你？一点热乎劲都没有，还想泡我！” 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 嫁鸡随机 小明家有只小母鸡，每天都在一个固定的地方下蛋。后来，它嫁给了一个公鸡。从那以后，小母鸡下蛋的地方再也不固定了，今天在这，明天在那，完全找不到规律。小明急了，就去问小母鸡为什么会这样。小母鸡说：嫁鸡随机嘛。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] 摸骨看相 算命先生：“这位先生，本人擅长摸骨看相，您不看看？”水母：“滚！” 发表时间:[2016/12/30]
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