这就是个骗局 |
结婚前老公告诉我他是第一次,我说怎么看出来。他说第一次的时间很短,后来我发现老公每次都是第一次! 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
大叔你不要趁机欺负人家 |
有一次在公交车上,看到一个胖嘟嘟的小男孩上车,手里拿着整钱100的,对司机说,叔叔我没有零钱了。司机大叔说,过来让我捏下脸蛋儿,小胖子就把脸凑过去了,司机大叔捏了下他的脸蛋然后让他下车。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
这男朋友我不要了 |
昨晚做梦,梦到有人要给我2000万,条件是马上跟男友分手。听到这话我当时就哭了,冲上去抱住她的大腿说:“你可一定要说话算话啊。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
老板,你误会了 |
军训会操要穿白鞋,于是陪朋友去买帆布鞋,老板要78,朋友说能不能便宜点,老板说不,行还没说出来。朋友突然胃疼,立马就捂着肚子蹲下了,额头直冒汗,老板吓傻了,说:“30块你拿走吧,我也不容易!” 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
这哥们也是个人才 |
有个哥们考驾照,塞给驾校钱了,但考科目一的时候他还是超级紧张,成绩差的该驾校实在没办法给他过。结果这哥们就把这个驾校举报了。我觉得这哥们也是个人才。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
拿过来让你看看 |
隔壁二货敲门进来,把两大袋小吃摆在桌子上,我感动的泪流满面!二货说:“这是我今晚的零食,手机坏了不能发朋友圈,拿过来让你看看!”麻痹,只是看看…… 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
你是在说你男友不如狗啊 |
昨天和女友走在大街上,看见两只狗在办事。女友站在我面前用拳头轻轻的打我,以为她很害羞,我就说咱们走快点就看不到了。她说你看狗的速度多快...我狂汗! 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
你玩,我也玩,大家玩开心来 |
老板带小秘出发半月,回来的晚上为了不让老婆怀疑什么,亲热时很卖力,弄出很大动静。突然楼下的邻居敲门怒喊:都半个月了,天天这样,还让不让人睡啊? 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
Lawyer and Engineer |
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, "I'm here because my house burned down, and the insurance company paid for everything.""That's quite a coincidence," said the engineer... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
相亲 Blind Date |
After being with her all evening, the man couldn't take another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him to the phone so he would have an excuse to leave.When&n... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
frog 青蛙 |
Frog The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, "Now I'll show you this frog in my pocket." He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a secon... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
the formula for water |
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?""Sure. That's easy," said one man."What is it?""H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.""What, what?" r... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
是因为对她太好了么? |
女盆友和我分手了,我问她为什么,她只说了一句话:“老娘吃硬不吃软。”然后头也不回的走了。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
骚年这大学你算白上了 |
约了女孩去看电影,她问我看完电影会不会用到身份证。我当时心里乐开了花,没想到这小坏蛋也不是什么省油的灯,对她说:“那你带着吧,看完电影宿舍都关门了,我们可以一起去爽一下,正好我也很久没去网吧过夜啦!” 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
我有那么抢手吗? |
国庆有两个同事要结婚,都抢着要我去当伴娘,我那个激动啊!打电话告诉我妈,我妈说:“不找你找谁啊,花钱请都得请你!”很开心,我说:“我有那么抢手吗?”我妈说:“谁让你长那么丑!”不说了,先哭会,打死也不去了! 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |