我的被子掉下来了 |
半夜三更,夜深人静的时候,只有寝室各种音色的打鼾声。突然,“通”的一声打破了这夜的寂静,室友纷纷惊醒,问道:“怎么回事?”突然听到一个弱弱的声音传来:“我的被子掉下来了! ”然后大家正准备睡觉,一个室友问:“为什么被子掉下来会有这么大的声音?”再次传来一个弱弱的声音:“我在被子里面…”... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
按要求写词语 |
女儿读一年级,有个题按要求写词语,例:亮晶晶,然后我看到女儿飞快地在本子上写着:喜羊羊,沸羊羊,美羊羊,懒羊羊,慢羊羊……尼玛这个渗透到中国多少了。 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
烤糊了 |
小时候智力还没发育,老笨了,我记得那次考试烤糊了,好像是42分,就把卷子搁在我家炉子的底下,半夜,我妈问我考试了吗?我说考了,我妈问我卷子呢?我说我烤糊了,我妈问我把卷子放哪了,我死活不说,结果,我妈添煤的时候发现我的卷子,还真糊了…… 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
上课睡觉多次被劝退 |
小明上课睡觉多次,被老师劝退回家。小明:老师不让我上学了,叫我退学。明爸:为什么小明:上课睡觉明爸:上课睡觉怎么了,谁上课没睡过觉,爸爸上学的时候也睡过!小明:爸爸您也喜欢裸睡吗? 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
幼稚的想法 |
初中的时候,对班上一男生挺有好感,而他不知道。每次交作业的时候,总是等着他交了我再交,心想:我的作业本一定要和他的作业本挨在一起,这样发下来的时候就能一起去拿。现在想想,那时候真幼稚~~ 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
小女孩的愿望 |
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would ... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
父亲在哪? |
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings."Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!""Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the ... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
两块蛋糕 |
Two Pieces of CakeTom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!两块蛋糕汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧! 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
连衣裙 |
妻子买了张彩票对丈夫说:“我若中了彩,就买件连衣裙。”丈夫问:“你若中不了呢?”妻子说:“那就由你给我买吧!” 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
I do not recognize you |
Walking on the beach one day he saw a crab1, went to see what happens, suddenly crab pincers(钳子) folder2, then crab bush run. Tiger jumped the pain, followed by the recovery of crabs3!Catch up with no trees o... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
A Smart Parrot 聪明的鹦鹉 |
A curious guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. There he sees a parrot with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance&nb... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
Not so fast 别那么急嘛 |
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(欢庆的) charity event was taking place.Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution."Great idea!"... 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
我姓洋,叫洋芋 |
土豆和洋葱是一对好朋友,可是洋葱老是喜欢取笑它。一天,洋葱对土豆说:“小土豆呀,小土豆,你不光长得土气,连名字都带个土字。”土豆生气了,好几天都不理洋葱。洋葱不知道原因,见到土豆就忙喊它:“小土豆!小土豆!”小土豆生气地回答它:“别叫我土豆,我姓洋,叫洋芋!” 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
顺着对方的喜好聊 |
笨狮子向老驴请教:我要去见网友,但不知道怎么才能给人留下好印象。老驴教导说:孩子,只要顺着对方的喜好聊就对啦。约会的时间到了,笨狮子问:你是狗呀?小母犬羞答答的应了一声。笨狮子憋了半天问一句:你吃屎吗? 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |
顶多是个女汉子 |
LZ今天在公交车上看到一年轻孕妇和一美女(估计是闺蜜)。孕妇:自从怀孕后,我就超爱吃辣的美女:酸儿辣女,肯定是女孩孕妇:那我从现在开始硬吃酸的,会不会生男孩…美女:不会,顶多是个女汉子… 发表时间:[2016/12/30] |